Ursula's Hungry Pear by MensjeDeZeemeermin, literature
Literature
Ursula's Hungry Pear
Let all the artists salute
Vernon's unique, dentate fruit.
You don't know 'dentate?'
Oh, good grief!
'Dentate' means 'equipped with teeth.'
Such a viand, might, with spite,
Match you, tasting, BITE FOR BITE!
Touch it not, bugs, with a feeler.
Housewife, spare the rusty peeler!
Shun it, spurn it, wisdom flees!
TEETH ARE NOW GROWING ON TREES!
Chew on this one, and get sore!
This pear's altered--to the core!
Pray the thing will get no bigger.
Ask instead for more of 'Digger.'
What's next? Apples bearing fangs?
So much for MY hunger pangs!
Get it drunk, if liquor's handy,
I've heard pears are good, with brandy.
What is this now that I see?
Did
There are Drakes on the Street Where I Live by MensjeDeZeemeermin, literature
Literature
There are Drakes on the Street Where I Live
There are Drakes on the Street Where I Live
From ‘My Fair Draggie’
(With apologies to Lerner & Lowe)
I have often walked
On this street before
But I never have been stalked
Upon clawed feet before…
I look up and scream!
It would surely seem
There are drakes
On the street
Where I live!
They are everywhere,
Lurking spiny things.
I must now take care to
Hide all of my shiny things!
All the dogs are gone,
Scorchmarks on the lawn!
Snatched by drakes
On the street
Where I live!
The sulfur smell is overpowering!
With each blast… of shriveling flame!
I look… See a smug dragon glower